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  • Writer's pictureMonique Cooper


I was always the one that said I will never have kids and here I am 40 years old with 3 kids, one that I actually carried. When I met my husband he had two girls. Kitress and Nylah. Kitress was 4 years old; pretty, dark skin girl with a head full of hair and a beautiful smile. She walked in and saw me and all I can hear is, I like your hair, oh I like your bracelet, and I like your dress. She was fascinated of my look and all I can think was, aww she so cute. I’m like her Barbie doll or something. Nylah the baby, cute as a button on the other hand (1 year old) was stuck under daddy, daddy this and daddy that and was looking at me like who this chick, that’s my daddy. As time went by, I spent more time with Nylah and “daddy” went out the door real fast, we were like best friends. She was modeling with me, at my practices giving order to the other models, “Walk, Walk”, with her little finger pointing at them. You couldn’t tell us we weren’t Beyoncé because every song that came on we were in front of the TV dancing to it or in the car singing “Hold up, bring the beat back, 🎶 Stop ✋🏾 I ain’t ready yet!” Lol. Shopping at the malls and target was also our thing, me and the girls would go shopping and I would dress them up like my very own dolls. I’d even forget to buy me something. At this point I was digging being a bonus mom/big sister.

A few years past by and we had a tragic accidental death with a friend. He played football with my husband and injured himself during a game and later that night passed away. We had gotten close to his parents and all. One night I had a dream that I was sitting in my living room with a little boy in my hand and our friend came to me in this dream asking who he was. I told him his name is Javan! We named him after you. The next day his parents (the friend that died) came to visit us and I was all so happy to tell them I saw their son in my dream. I thought God was telling me to tell them that their son was ok but little did I know, God was sending another message. Two months later I found out I was pregnant and another month later found out he was a boy. Long story short, that dream was telling me I was having a baby of my own named Javan. I had the worst pregnancy; in and out of the hospital to the point Javan came early. Javan endured several complications, over 9 surgeries and he suffers from Asthma, ADHD and Anxiety.


So now at this point I have a son of my own and two bonus girls that I love so dearly. Motherhood then became real. The cooking, cleaning, teaching, being a doctor and a nurse. When the girls would come over it was family day, i tried to make every moment memorable. Rather it was the movies, fair, game night or teaching moments like sewing clothes.

They are now 19, 16 and 12 and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. I sit back and think about how they are when they are together, Javan likes to aggravate Kitress and Kitress has to remind him who the oldest because at this point, Javan is about her height. Then Nylah looks up to her big sister (well down on the physical note because she’s the tallest) and can call on her anytime. They have a sister bond I so love (Me and you will never part). Nylah turns around to be like the caring big sister to Javan, she laughs with him and would even play with him no matter the age difference. Javan loves his big sisters, when apart he misses them but try to act hard about it once he see them again. I had a chance to do Kitress prom and she was absolutely beautiful. Moments like that warms my heart because even though they aren’t my very own, I love to be apart of the big and small moments of their life. I try not to over do it because they have their moms, but they allow me to be a bonus mom like no other.

This is why I dedicate my Mother’s Day the these three. Kitress, Nylah and Javan all have special places in my heart that allows me to push for them like a mother supposed to do. I’m so grateful for Mother’s Day, the one that said she will never have kids. I thought I wouldn’t do well at this. I see God saw what I was able to do with the two before my very own and then gave me Javan. He gave me a child with so many complications to test my motherhood and show me that I CAN do this and more.

To my wonderful kids, you are smart, intelligent and are all leaders. The future ain’t ready for you. I hope to live a very long time to watch you grow and be successful and to continue to play my role in your life. I love you so much, thank you for you are my Mother’s Day gift!

I dedicate my Mother’s Day to you. 😘

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